NFP & No More Children
Question
Hi folks – I’m 35 and my husband and I have three children, a girl 9 and two boys 6 and 3. We have used NFP exclusively for the 10 years of our marriage.
We thought we had the knowledge down, but one weird menstrual cycle and now we are expecting a very unplanned 4th child. I am very upset. I have everyone and their brother telling me I should consider artificial means after the baby is born to assure myself that I won’t have a 5th, 6th. Yes, we had been somewhat lax in tracking my symptoms, and I’m looking at taking a refresher NFP class to clear up some things we might have overlooked.
I have two questions. Is it possible to really be “done” with having children and still practice NFP – i.e. is it part of the philosophy that after a certain number of children it’s ok to say “no more” and to have a normal sex life without being paranoid?
I know there are unspoken evils of artificial birth control, such as a weak link with a vasectomy and prostate cancer, but at this stage of the game, it sure is looking tempting. My husband turned 47 and I just can’t see us spending his golden years at back to school meetings!
We very much want to follow church teaching, but man, talk about a shake of the faith. Thank you for any input.
Jenny
Newport Beach
Answer
Last Updated: June 14, 2013
We were “done” having children when my husband and I started using NFP when I was 33 and he 37. Our decision to stop using artificial birth control was based on our renewed desire to follow the Catholic teaching and the known side effects of the birth control pill. We took what we called our step in faith. We had not learned about the modern methods of NFP or we might have never used contraception. We have always been open to another pregnancy, but over the years have prayerfully used NFP to avoid a pregnancy. I confidently went through menopause with out being paranoid. Being an NFP instructor I have always encouraged a yearly follow up appointment to insure that the couple has not become “somewhat lax in tracking her symptoms” and always reminding them of those “weird menstrual cycles”. I hope over the next few months you will come to see this fourth child as a blessing from God. I am confident that with a refresher course, a stronger motivation and that step in faith, you will be successful in using NFP.
Winnie Neill, CFCP
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