When did I conceive?
Question
I am currently separated from my husband. The first day of my last menstrual period was Feb. 18. My husband had sex on the 26th and the 28th with his girlfriend, with me on the 27th (all protected) and with me unprotected on March 1 in the early afternoon (he says he did not pull out). After finding out about the girlfriend, I was with my ex-boyfriend on March 3 in the early morning (unprotected after condom came off, he did pull out). I took a negative pregnancy test on March 16. I took another on March 18 that resulted in a positive reading. Is there a greater possibility that it is the ex-boyfriends because of the dates and the fact that my husband probably had low sperm count at the time? Or the husband’s because he didn’t pull out? I have a very regular cycle.
K
Answer
Last Updated: July 12, 2013
I just do not see how anyone can answer your question with any credibility. Even with ultrasounds to measure the size of the baby, you would not be able to definitively determine which act of intercourse resulted in conception, since they were only a day or two apart.
I can understand you must be very confused and anxious right now, and are seeking specific answers, but those answers are just not available to you.
The information you DO have is ….YOU are a mom! And though your life may be unsettled at the moment, and you may be uncertain of many things….your future, even whether you have a future with either of these men, and which of them is the biological father of this child… the fact remains you are this child’s mother. You are this baby’s security, and the future of this child depends on you.
You do not need to feel pressured into making any decisions at this time. Pregnancy can bring with it many confusing emotions, especially when it comes at an already confusing time. It is best to take your time, not look too far into the future, and take this one day at a time. Your first concern is the welfare of this child, and you want to seek good prenatal care, and take care of your own health, as well as this baby.
The duration of the pregnancy will give you many months to explore your options, which might include raising this baby alone, raising this baby with your husband, or putting the baby up for adoption—regardless of whom the biological father is. Though of course no-one would have purposefully put oneself in your situation, it does pose an opportunity for you to observe the character of the men you are in relationship with. It almost is irrelevant at this point who the biological father is. As this baby’s mother, you will have some decisions to make that will determine who this baby will call “daddy”, and that will be much more important to this baby’s future, though that can be hard to see right now with all the turmoil you must be in.
It can be very helpful in such difficult times to have someone to talk to about all this. 1-800-395-HELP is a toll free number you can call to find people who can support you through this pregnancy.
I wish you and your baby well!
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