Empowered to Accompany Couples

I grew up in a Catholic family where we learned to love and serve God by being committed to our home parish as we participated in retreats and formation days that helped us understand more about our faith and share it with others. Both my parents, and especially my mother, taught my three brothers and myself, lessons of life about family and Christian values in order for us to be able to build up a stable family in the future. However, the topic of how to deal with the gift of sexuality in the context of a healthy and fruitful marriage, was not totally clear to us. Even my home parish did not have enough resources to accompany the community in this area. In my mind as a young man, I knew that big issues like abortion and sex outside of marriage were unacceptable…but there was not much information about what couples should do with their sexual relationship in marriage, one that builds up and strengthens love, trust and commitment.

In my late twenties I joined a religious community and began my journey of theological formation and part of it was Moral Theology. I am grateful for the incredibly good professors I had in Mexico, the Philippines and here in the US. I learned a lot in terms of the basics for a fair judgement as I learned to use the Tradition of the Catholic Church to understand human behavior and the call to holiness, in other words, eternal peace and joy in union with God and humanity. I learned that the journey to holiness is not black and white and that the path is many times painful though certain and liberating.

As a religious brother and then as seminarian for my Diocese, I had the opportunity to accompany couples that struggled, among other things, with their intimate life as an expression of their love and commitment. I did my best with the little knowledge I had at that time trying to be a spiritual father for them, but I lacked information to be able to help them in their journey.

In 2013 I had the opportunity to attend a workshop on NFP for seminarians, sponsored by my Diocese of Sacramento, and provided by CANFP. It was then that I was able to understand in a deeper way the process of human conception and the way that contraceptives damage the body, mind and soul of women, men and family.

I was able to understand the use of the natural family planning methods, as well as the pros and cons of each one. It was only after that workshop that I felt empowered and confident to offer advice to married and engaged couples about the benefits of following the teachings of the Catholic Church and how God liberates His children when they are willing to live their intimate life in the way it is intended.

As a priest, I have had the joy of accompanying couples in their journey to freedom and peace as they shifted the way they relate with each other in their married life, which in turn is expressed in their sexual intimacy.

Now, as a vocations director, I see the importance of teaching our seminarians about Natural Family Planning as a way that the Church, our mother, accompanies the lives of God’s children. We as Church ministers are called to promote and accompany their lives and will be able to do so if we understand how NFP works and the benefits that it offers to families.