NFP Formation is a Lifelong Journey

The idea for the theme of the Summer 2020 CANFP NEWS emerged from CANFP’s facilitation of the summer seminarian workshops and clergy study days over the years. Moreover, in 2019, I participated in a symposium at St. Patrick’s Seminary in Menlo Park entitled “Renewing Formation: Toward a New Unity of Theology and Sanctity”. Although the symposium focused on the writings of Hans Urs von Balthasar as a source of renewing the formation of clergy, religious and laity, it moved me to reflect upon my own formation journey. I grew up in a large Catholic family. After attending a Catholic elementary school and public high school, I enrolled in a Catholic liberal arts program at the University of San Francisco (St. Ignatius Institute). After college, in my 20’s, I experienced a bit of the world: working as a truck driver, travelling and attending graduate school (not necessarily in that order). In the early 90’s, I traveled to Rome, Italy to live at a house of discernment and formation in Rome. It was then that I was able to clarify in my head and my heart that I wanted to be a parish priest and that God wanted me to be one as well. More formation followed at the American seminary in Rome and I have continued to be formed throughout 22 years of priesthood.

Where does Natural Family Planning fit into my formation? Did my parents use some form NFP? I don’t know, to be honest. Although God gifted my parents with 12 children, they were pretty discrete, at least to me, about how they went about conceiving us. I do remember my father having “the talk” with me (probably when I was in 5th or 6th grade) and, when he was all done, I asked: “Do you have to take off your clothes to do that?” It is possible that my mother shared more about the gift of marital love with my ten sisters. In any case, I would say that NFP did lead, at least indirectly, to my decision to attend St. Ignatius Institute at a very important and formational time in my life. In the summer of 1978, my mother attended a conference at USF on Humanae Vitae. (CANFP News recalled this conference in our lead-up to our 2018 HV50 conference.) At the conference, my mother heard about a new liberal arts program at USF called St. Ignatius Institute. She told me about the program and SII was just what I needed at the point in my life. (Okay, it is also true that I was not accepted by the University of Notre Dame.) I wanted to be better formed in my Catholic faith and, at SII, I encountered peers who desired the same. We journeyed together, and along the way, had classes and seminars in philosophy, history, theology, literature and ethics that cast light on the truth, beauty and goodness of Catholic faith and culture. And, yes, NFP was a part of that formation. We learned that it was a morally acceptable, scientifically sound, albeit, not always easy way for couples to space out the births of their God-given children.

Later, I remember Dr. Thomas Hilgers giving a presentation to us seminarians. To me, he was a NFP “rock star”. I went on to study at the John Paul II Institute in Rome, where I took a semester-long class on NFP and in another class learned how the two “states of life,” marriage and consecrated life (priests and religious) complement, inform and encourage one another. To me, as a priest, what moves me to want to be an advocate of, and promoter for, NFP, is that couples who live NFP inspire and encourage me to be faithful in my vocation. And when I preach and teach NFP, I am not only preaching to myself about the virtues of chastity, patience and obedience, but also I am reminded of the gift of my own spiritual fatherhood and the serious responsibility of being a strong spiritual leader. In other words, in some way, in my priestly ministry I am working towards a “unity in theology and sanctity”. God willing, with this edition of CANFP News, we are able to cast some light on this important apostolate that engages all of us, whether one is a NFP practitioner, a single person, a consecrated religious, a physician, a bishop, a priest, or a deacon.