Post Abortion Healing

While this issue of CANFP News focuses on the topic of pregnancy loss, you will note that most of the articles reflect on miscarriage. My contribution centering on Rachel’s Vineyard retreats goes in a different direction. Most would agree that miscarriage and abortion are as different from each other as apples are to oranges. One difference is that one is involuntary, the other is not. Still, I believe that there is some crossover between the two. One of the more beautiful liturgies I remember being involved with was years ago when I had the gift of celebrating a “Pregnancy Loss Mass” at the Cathedral of the Blessed Sacrament in Sacramento. Women and men came together to pray for healing after experiencing a very personal pregnancy loss. In the context of the prayers, Sacred Scripture, rituals and hymns of the Mass, it was not so important how the loss came about. What was important was the thanksgiving expressed for the gift of the life of the child, the sorrow acknowledged and the petition for healing and hope by the parents of the child or the children. I felt humbled and privileged to be a part of such a Mass.

It has also been an amazing privilege for me to be a chaplain for Rachel’s Vineyard (RV) retreats since 2003. Rachel’s Vineyard is a weekend, group, confidential retreat for women and men struggling from “painful post-abortive emotions” where the retreatants are able “to begin the process of restoration, renewal and healing”. A typical RV retreat will include 12 to 14 retreatants and a retreat team of five or six. The retreat team always includes a facilitator, a licensed therapist, a priest (or a minister if the retreat is non-denominational) and two or three other team members. In the Diocese of Sacramento, retreatants arrive at the retreat house on Friday afternoon and stay until Sunday afternoon. From my experience, retreatants range anywhere from late teens to mid-70s. Some have experienced abortion recently. For others, it has been forty years. For the most part, the retreatants tend to be women, but I always appreciate when there are men retreatants. For one, hearing a man’s perspective on pregnancy loss often gives the women a chance to hear something they have never heard before.

Over the course of the weekend, the RV retreatants engage in a number of guided Scripture or “spiritual exercises” and rituals. At Catholic RV retreats, Mass is celebrated, confessions are heard and Eucharistic Adoration is offered. While the retreatants do a ton of work—-indeed many tears are shed—the source of healing and forgiveness is clearly Jesus Christ, the Son of the Father, as experienced through the healing encounters He has with women and men in the New Testament. We reflect on the Samaritan woman, blind Bartimeaus and the woman who touched Jesus cloak, to name a few. Over the course of the weekend, retreatants are invited to tell their story in small groups, name their child or children and memorialize them. While some retreatants arrive with much anxiousness on Friday, which is completely natural, by Sunday afternoon they are transformed and at peace. It is an amazing thing to witness so much positive, healing change in the course of 48 hours. Thus, when the topic of abortion comes up in the confessional, I always try to mention the healing beauty of the Rachel’s Vineyard retreats. Serving as a chaplain for RV retreats has given me the gift to be around some amazing and courageous women and men and to witness their readiness to receive God’s healing.