The Year of Living Generously

When it comes to couples using NFP in their marriage, a number of qualities mark their “practice”. I use “practice” here in quotes, because I suppose it is rather difficult to live NFP a hundred percent perfectly, all the time. It takes much practice over the course of one’s married life. In any case, the qualities that I allude to include: mutual respect, patience, self-mastery and generosity. To be sure, there are others. But to simplify things in this brief article, I will mention these four and will give the most attention to the last one: generosity. Another important point is that these qualities are fostered by the spouses not only in the bedroom, but also in the other areas of their married life. Think of the professional athlete. If the athlete were to eat whatever he wanted and do whatever he wanted to do with his body, outside of practice and games, things would probably not go well for him during the games. No, he or she has to take care of his or her body: what goes into it, how to strengthen and train it and how to allow it to heal and recover from the stresses of competition.

Generosity lies at the heart of the spouses’ NFP practice. Generosity is defined as a readiness to give more of something than is strictly necessary. The generous person recognizes that what one has, ultimately, is a gift; he or she cannot take credit for everything that has been received.
Generous parents recognize that even though they had something to do with the procreation of their child, they did not bring about the child entirely on their own. No, their Creator and Redeemer generously gifted them with their spiritual and physical fertility and gifted their newborn with a soul. Thus, the happiest couples practice generosity with each other and with others in the different circumstances of their married life.

Those of us who are not married can learn much from spouses’ openness to living generously. As a priest, when I read about spouses who are open to adopting children, especially if they already have a child or two, like the Toner family highlighted in this edition of CANFP News, I am reminded that I, too, need to be generous in the way that I give of myself to my parishioners and others under my care. I cannot simply just show up for Mass and spend the rest of the day in my room. Generous couples, like Deacon Julian and Gloria Delgado, also highlighted in this newsletter, remind all of us to practice readiness to be flexible when it comes to unforeseen demands. For example, a family member struggling with fragile physical health may need my assistance to get to medical appointments or a friend going through a difficult situation may benefit from my accompaniment.

As President of CANFP, I am always struck by the generous support of all of you. I feel humbled by the many generous ways you support the work that we do together: through your prayers, through the gift of your time and skills and through the sacrifice of your well-earned dollars. On behalf of the Executive and Advisory Boards, I express my gratefulness to all of you and especially to those of you highlighted in this newsletter. As we journey forth, together, in this new year, may we grow in our gratefulness for the generosity of others and be edified by their example to practice generosity ourselves.