When I was 16, my mom “suggested” I attend a retreat organized by our local diocese. I began the retreat filled with resentment towards her for forcing me to go. But as soon as the weekend started, the scales started to fall from my eyes.
Here was a group of excited and joyful catholic youth! They loved me and accepted me for who I am, and yet challenged me to grow in my faith. This retreat, open to any confirmed Catholic, was a great experience for me as an individual. Instead of learning from priests and nuns, I was gaining knowledge in my faith from youth my own age, from our perspective. I was hearing experiences of conversion and love. Everyone who ministered that weekend was younger than 21, and beaming with joy. They would love you and pray for you.
But if you wanted to continue and become a staff member, you had to live by certain standards. You were expected to abstain from all drugs and alcohol, abstain from sex and sexual activity, go to Mass every Sunday, and be pro-life. You were expected to become a leader in your Catholic parish. As a young woman, being a pro-life activist was the biggest challenge for me. Up until this point I had considered myself pro-choice and a firm believer in birth control. I thought a young woman’s choice of lifestyle was not mine or anyone else’s business. This group of people taught me to see the precious dignity of each person. I came to see the creation and development of a human being as sacred from the moment of conception, and why sex should be reserved for marriage. On the retreat weekend a married couple discussed openly the joys and trials of living the teachings of the Catholic Church with a charitable heart, knowing that Natural Family Planning was best for their souls.
All retreat staff members were given the opportunity to attend World Youth Day in Toronto, Canada with Pope John Paul II (now a saint) during the summer after high school graduation. To prepare for this journey, we spent the year reading his teachings of Theology of the Body and Love and Responsibility. We studied the difference between love and use of a person. We learned of God’s original intent for the marital bond. The way this old man talked about relationships gave me hope for my future.
Up until that time, I had given up on the idea of a family. I thought devoted relationships were unattainable, given the current state of the sexual revolution. After reading JPII’s teachings, I realized that following God’s design created respect and love between a man and woman. I knew I wanted this lifestyle for myself and my future spouse.
I am married now, and our three young children are such a gift to us.
I learned during those formative years that the “rules” of the Church do not hold me back from anything. They are there to protect my heart and my body from being used for someone else’s motives. I had no idea how bold my leaders were back then. Hearing my adult peer’s stories, and their lack of formation, has shown me that God can work through lay Catholics. They just need to be bold about teaching their students and leaders the truths of the teachings of the Catholic Church.