Dear Carol:
Unfortunately you have presented a very interesting history. I am very happy for the blessings of the children you have been able to carry to term. From your description, it sounds as if you had two molar pregnancies, then a full term pregnancy, and now a blighted ovum.
While I am not fully familiar with the cross check you had, I think it would indicate that you fall into a general category of having sperm antibodies. The person who gave you the test was proposing that the molar and blighted ovums were part of an “allergic” reaction to your husband.
This is a fairly new and rapidly developing area of obstetrics. I do know that through NaPro Technology (from research at Pope Paul VI Institute, Omaha, NE) some physicians are having success with treating the husbands with a short term of prednisone. This apparently is reducing whatever is causing the antibody production in the wife.
Fertility difficulties are often times mixed meaning that both the wife and husband have underlying processes that need to be corrected. Therefore, I would propose that you would be taught how to chart your cycles so that the cervical mucus, the phases of the cycle, and appropriate lab and ultrasound testing could be performed. Perhaps hormone replacement or other appropriate medications could be used. All of this is morally acceptable to people of all religious and cultural backgrounds.
Of course, your husband should be examined and a sperm analysis performed to see if there is a disproportionate amount of abnormal sperm, etc. This can easily be done by working with his doctor and the laboratory ahead of time. I recommend a perforated condom which allows some sperm to pass through during a normal act of intercourse, but enough is retained to be analyzed.
I fear that I have not been very much help. However, there are a lot of resources through CANFP from which you can receive help. The first on the list would be to find a certified teacher to teach you to chart your cycles. Also, CANFP has a list of doctors in California that may be near you to help with some of the exams and appropriate testing. I wish you and your family the best outcome!
Gretchen Marsh, D.O.