Broken Road

I don’t know when the journey down this broken road started but I do know that it has not ended. What I can tell you is that I traveled down a road I never imagined I would take. I learned more than I ever thought possible. I went through emotions I didn’t know were within. And I came to believe in the power of a system that changed my life and the lives of those closest to me. Here is my journey and the blessings of a broken road.

My husband and I married six and half years ago and knew we wanted several children right away. I already had a son so naturally I thought having more children would be easy. Well, little did I know that God had other plans. After two years of trying to conceive on our own without any success, my OB/GYN sent my husband and me for genetic testing. We were given a clean bill of health and no explanation as to why we weren’t conceiving. The next step was for my husband to have his sperm analyzed. After that intrusive test, he was given another clean bill of health and no explanation as to why we weren’t conceiving. We were so frustrated at this point but knew that God was calling us to be parents to more children and we didn’t want to give up hope.

Well our prayers were answered when we finally conceived. But early in the pregnancy I began bleeding and I had much pain in the left side of my pelvic area. It turned out I had an ectopic pregnancy, which ultimately resulted in the removal of my left fallopian tube. My husband and I were devastated and mourned the loss of our child. We waited several months to try and conceive again. Our faith that God was calling us to be parents had not wavered. My OB/GYN told me, “Don’t worry, you are going to get pregnant. You’ve had a child. So I’m sure you are going to get pregnant again.” Guess what?  We were having trouble again conceiving after my ectopic pregnancy so we decided to learn one of the forms of Natural Family Planning that was offered through our church.

We quickly learned the method and our prayers were answered again when we conceived a second time. But just as before, I began bleeding early in the pregnancy which resulted in a miscarriage. We were devastated a second time and mourned the loss of another child. What was God trying to teach us? When was the journey on this road going to be over? Were we meant to have more biological children or was God calling us to adopt? My OB/GYN once again tried to reassure me. “Don’t worry. You’ve had a child. I’m sure you will get pregnant again. There are some people who have never even conceived.” Those words didn’t comfort us. Were we being selfish to want more children? Our faith began to waver. Night after sleepless night and day after lingering day we waited to conceive and carry a baby to term.

We conceived two more times after that but, sadly, each pregnancy resulted in a miscarriage. Not only did our faith waver…it was shaken to the core. I felt damaged because my body would not carry a baby to term. I felt like a disappointment because I knew my husband was more afraid then excited every time I told him I was pregnant. He was so afraid to hope and to want. The look in his eyes said it all. I felt afraid…afraid to trust, afraid to hope, afraid to love. I was so unsure of what God had planned for us. I looked to my OB/GYN for comfort and the tiniest glimmer of hope and some sort of answer. This is what he said:  “Don’t worry. I know it’s hard but I once had a woman who had eight miscarriages before she finally conceived and carried to term. So you too will eventually carry a baby to term.” It was at that moment that I knew I had to switch doctors. It was at that moment that I knew I had to trust in the little knowledge I had of my own body to say, “Something isn’t OK! I’m not alright! I am worried!” It was at that moment in time that my mother told me about another form of Natural Family Planning called The Creighton Model FertilityCare System. I called the very next day for an appointment, trying not to get my hopes up, but knowing I had to seek an alternative to what my own doctor was telling me.

Over the course of the next few months my husband and I learned to accurately chart my cycles. We learned to identify and understand the biological markers seen in my charts. We learned that, yes, in fact, there was something not quite right going on in my cycles. Most importantly, we learned there was something that could be done to help me carry a pregnancy to term. We worked with one of the most insightful, intelligent and innovative doctors one will ever meet – Dr. Lynn Keenan. For the first time, I felt as though my doctor was listening to me. I began to feel a little less afraid. She saw how broken I was. She saw how shaken my faith had become. She saw us— an ordinary couple who had so much love to give a child— and she saw a way to help.

It sounds like a fairy tale but I call it a blessing…a gift…the ultimate gift. On August 16, 2009, Jaden Isaiah Garcia, was born. (In Hebrew, Jaden means God has heard). My husband and I had conceived and I had carried a baby to term. We were so grateful to God for trusting us with the gift of our son. We will be eternally thankful to Dr. Hilgers, the nurses, doctors and anyone involved in developing the Creighton Model FertilityCare System.

It is only now that I can see and appreciate the blessings of the broken road I traveled. I had to go through heartache to really understand the clients I serve. You see, not only did Creighton work for me personally but I am currently taking classes and on my way to becoming a FertilityCare Practitioner! The blessings of this broken road have led me to Creighton and allowed me to provide alternatives to those who have been told there is no other way. It has helped me to educate those who want to empower themselves in women’s health and give hope to those who have lost their way. I truly am thankful for the blessings of a broken road.