Men: Behold, Read and Discover the Joy of the Feminine Genius

We love when God shows off, and He loves to show off in Northern California. Whether it’s the iconic cliffs of El Capitan and Half Dome in God’s natural cathedral of Yosemite, the intensely blue water of Lake Tahoe found in the Sierra Nevada Mountains, or the experience of feeling like you are on the edge of heaven at Big Sur, beholding the marvel of God’s first love letter to man—creation—is a gift to all men who call Northern California “home.” God speaks, and He creates; man beholds, and he marvels.

The more we read God’s natural love letter, the more we discover the language of God – and this ought to bring us joy! We behold, and what we behold brings us the joy of discovery. We look upon creation in faith, and we read it as God’s epistle to man because we can discern it as a reflection of the Creator. However, God’s creation is not the only love letter we are intended to read, not the only temple where God reveals Himself, and certainly not the only language He uses to reveal his captivating beauty.

Imbedded within the human body is another love letter, a greater love letter, a letter that is inscribed into the language of the body. There is a sacramentality to our bodies. That is to say, the body reveals the soul. When our hearts are sad, we cry; when our hearts rejoice, we laugh. Our bodies are a sign pointing to a deeper mystery of our humanity: we are composite body and soul.

In the woman’s body, there is a language of God to read and behold – the feminine genius.¹ Men, do we look at the woman’s body and reverence it as a sign of God’s love? Do we see the woman’s body as “capable of making visible what is invisible: the spiritual and the divine…created to transfer into the visible reality of the world, the mystery hidden from eternity in God” (TOB 19:4)?

I was introduced to the physiological elements of the feminine genius as a young boy. Like every other young boy I have known, I had no idea I was studying the feminine genius, only “the birds and the bees.” It was not until I went to a marriage prep class that I started to behold this language that took my breath away. Simple facts, such as women being born with millions of immature eggs waiting for ovulation, or the disintegration of unfertilized eggs being absorbed into the uterine lining, were “wow” factors for me as I beheld the creative power of God within the woman’s body.

In time, I learned the more intimate details of a woman’s monthly cycle: ovulation, the follicular and luteal phases, menstruation, and the impact of illness and stress on a woman’s fertility cycle. I discovered the divine stamp of God found in the woman’s body, and it had me marveling, wondering, joyfully reading the feminine genius inherent in my future wife. All of this was a sign pointing to something deeper, a new joy waiting to be discovered: the unity of a woman’s body and soul.

Quintessential to the feminine genius is the receptive nature of women. Receptivity, not to be confused with passivity, is as natural to women as flying to birds or swimming to fish. A woman is most free to love when she is receiving, welcoming, nurturing. The other feminine instincts of sensitivity (awareness of another’s interior needs), generosity (being available), and maternity (affective formation) find their life-giving center in how a woman receives. As the baby grows in the womb of a woman, so does her soul expand in her sensitivity, generosity, and maternal affection.

My wife, Jackie, flourishes in these attributes, and as I behold the gift she is to me, I marvel. Among her many feminine traits, she possesses the incredible instinct to transform a barren room into a space that is inviting, hospitable. When we are in the company of other, she is often tapped into the needs of others before they even ask. In this, she is tapping into her genius, and I, for one, am dazzled!

To behold is to contemplate, to understand, and to love. As a man, the more I contemplate and understand the mystery of my wife’s body and the whole of who she is in her personality, the more authentically I can love her. By acquiring a deeper understanding of the woman’s nature, we can now fully step into the wonderful world of complementarity.

Man gives, and woman receives; man looks outward, and woman looks inward; man initiates, and woman responds. Male and female strongly contrast each other, and in this, they complement each other. The complementarity of male and female is the discovery of how masculinity and femininity bring forth each to their fullest expression. The more I understand Jackie in her femininity—physiologically, emotionally, and spiritually—the more I am the best version of myself in my giving, exploration, and initiation. Men, in this, our joy becomes our wife’s joy. The joy of discovery is reciprocal.

Men, next time we go on a backpacking trip or mountain climb, behold the authority and power of God’s creation, and when you do, take to heart the genius that is emblazoned into the women’s femininity. It reads like poetry. God is showing off, and when he shows off, the joy of discovery awaits!

¹ Here, genius is defined as a set of characteristics, appearances, and natural tendencies that derive from those essential and mutually distinct capacities. These “tendencies” are archetypes, not stereotypes. Archetypes are built into the nature of things—the first mold of a thing.