People are Made to be Loved Not Used

It was not too long ago that I was in an airplane flying back from Oxford, England when I found myself in an interesting situation. On my left was a young man who happened to be reading some sort of pornographic magazine. On my right was an older gentleman who wanted to talk about God. I could not help but think that this moment was ordained by God for an opportunity to talk about the Catholic faith—to both of them…and I did. To make a long story short, the discussion was dominated by the topic of sexuality and ultimately a counter-response to that contemporary maxim: “what is sex if not for pleasure?” By the end of the plane trip, we all parted ways with, at the very least, a deeper understanding of our human sexuality (it was a 13 hour plane trip). In the end, this discussion moved me to research further the perilous industry of pornography.

What is Pornography?

Pornography “consists in the removing real or simulated acts from the intimacy of partners, in order to display them to third parties” (CCC, 2354). At its core, the gravity of pornography rests in the selfish use of persons and vendors for base pleasure causing great harm to the dignity of its participants and the sanctity of the conjugal act in marriage (cf. CCC, 2354).

That being said, pornography has far ranging communal effects as social media outlets, video stores, magazines, and businesses as a whole are accumulating billions of dollars annually in the stead of pornography. In a recent study out of Salt Lake City, UT, The Desert News Top Ten Review reported these alarming findings from the pornographic industry:

•   Every 39 minutes a new pornographic video is being produced (and increasing).

•   Every second 28, 258 internet users are viewing pornography worldwide (and increasing).

•   The Pornography industry claimed over 97 billion dollars of net value (internet alone), which totals more than Microsoft, Google, Yahoo, and Apple combined.

•   The United States is host to over 244 million adult web pages (and increasing).

•   The average age of first internet exposure to internet pornography is 11.

A careful examination of these numbers reveals that we are slipping from a culture with a problem of pornography to a culture that has become a porniculture. So where do we go from here? The Church tells us: purity.

Purity

In the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus Christ makes clear the centrality of purity and its possession of the vision of God: “Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God” (Mt.5:8). This beatitude refers to the purity of heart, body, and intellect that predisposes us to see the goodness of God (cf. CCC, 2519). Here, what needs to be understood is that purity encompasses more than just the sexual sphere, but the entire moral life. Purity is not a synonym for abstinence as much as it is an attitude, or virtue, that enables and strengthens us to live out our vocations as sons and daughters of God. Purity is about self-mastery and the discipline to overcome our inclination to sin (concupiscence). Purity is achieved in the day to day struggle to conquer our sexual urge in its sometimes impure intentions. In other words, a pure heart is mindful of situations and settings that might encourage sexual behavior that is not compatible with purity. For example, a pure heart “sees” the importance of not watching a television program that would even encourage thoughts and behavior that lead us down the path of sin. Thus, purity as an attitude or virtue, acts as a moral compass directing us to become who God calls us to be. Interestingly, the biblical base to the word purity, which comes from the Greek Hagnos, meaning, “pure, clear, clean, and chaste”, can also be translated as “modest or sacred”. What is sacred is what is holy. Essentially, purity guards “the intimate center of the person” (CCC, 2533), and it is this virtue that draws us deeper into the mystery of God’s own life of Holiness.

Consequently, in the absence of purity (and modesty), there is an absence of a moral foundation that affirms the truth of our sexuality and the proper integration of it in our relationships. As revealed by the aforementioned statistics, this has a far-ranging impact upon society as a whole. It is no wonder why our culture is downsizing programs on abstinence and purity and upgrading programs in “health education”. Such programs in “health education” have become nothing more than an enshrinement of contraception and the mentality that follows it; a mentality from which pornography abides.

Let us now revisit the definition of pornography from the CCC as it draws our attention to the consummative act in marriage.

A Sabotage and The Fullness of Charity

Again, as the CCC states pornography causes ‘great harm to the sanctity of the conjugal act in marriage’ (cf. CCC, 2354). As a simulated act, pornography sterilizes and sabotages the real gift of self intended for the conjugal act in marriage. For this reason, the conjugal act calls for the virtue of charity. It is to remember that purity is about self-mastery, and as such, a virtue that is understood in light of charity. This is important, because the gift of self is the fullness of charity. Moreover, such sacrificial charity is the fulcrum to holiness. The word sacrifice is derived from the Latin sacrum-fice, meaning to “make holy”. The barometer of our Christian life here on earth, and indeed holiness, is the measure to which we share in the one sacrifice of Christ (cf. Phil. 3:10; Col.1:24; 1 Pet.4:13) in our vocation of marriage. In the end, we must replace that empty time before the computer where we are tempted to “down-load” pornography with time of solitude in prayer. In prayer, we will find the strength necessary to overcome the temptations of the Adversary.

Pornography and NFP

As it relates to Natural Family Planning (NFP), pornographic behavior can easily emerge as a major stumbling block to the practice of NFP, because of the ways in which it distorts our view of spousal relationship and sexuality as a whole. Far too often we bring this distorted vantage point of sexuality into our marriage. This can ultimately confuse the logic behind the practice of periodic abstinence and the charity that encircles it. Ironically, it is the aforementioned virtue of charity which the practice of NFP calls for that can be the very thing that helps couples overcome pornographic behavior. Consequently, practicing NFP can be a means to share more fully in the sacrificial embrace of the sacrament of marriage.

Conclusion

As I revisit that trip from Oxford to San Francisco, I’m often reminded of the tension that exists between man’s divine quest for holiness and at the same time inclination to sin. Sitting in the middle of those two men made me reflect on that fork in the road that exists for all of us. Are we going to take the route of sacrifice and holiness or the route of self-satisfaction and spiritual death? Blessed John Paul II once said that “people are made to be loved and things are made to be used, we love things and use people”. This attitude of selfishness, especially within the context of pornography, has left us with a wounded culture that is in dire need of recovering our sexuality as a gift from God. Let us take up the task of clothing ourselves with the garment of purity and at once avoiding the plight of pornography.