Relationships and Love …On the Dance Floor?

As a founding member of the Culture Project International (CPI), a movement of young adults promoting the message of chastity and sexual integrity, I have always admired the spirituality and zeal for the Lord manifested by the CPI men and women. But the Lord also put on my heart that these young people need some wholesome fun. I felt that dance could be His answer. To support this intuition, the words of Saint Jose Maria Escriva came to mind: “It is urgent that we strive to re-Christianize popular celebrations and customs. It is urgent that public amusements should no longer be left to face the dilemma of being either over-pious or pagan.” (The Way, Chapter 45, point 975) St. Jose Maria called this the “entertainment apostolate”.

Two years ago, my dance coach, Sharon Boies, owner of All the Right Moves and More dance studio in Newport Beach, introduced me to her philosophy of teaching dance which incorporated St. Jose Maria Escriva’s philosophy. Sharon taught me how the appropriate kind of dancing could be a way to have physical contact with the opposite sex in a respectful way. I wanted to offer what I learned from Sharon’s dance classes to the young Catholic adults in the Orange County community. In our oversexualized society, I recognized this could be a way to reclaim the lost art of dance as a wholesome and healthy way to communicate with one’s body.

And so, our work had begun.

In a letter to Bishop Kevin Vann of Orange proposing a plan for an evening of ballroom dance for young adults, a young woman wrote: “In a world full of noise and chatter, it is amazing to discover how much two dance partners can learn from each other through their movement versus their voices.” Gratefully, Bishop Vann was supportive and instrumental in bringing our vision to reality. On Thursday, February 13, 2020, 130 Catholic young adults gathered at the Christ Cathedral Cultural Center for a Saint Valentine Gala. The evening featured ballroom dance, food, fellowship, and a demonstration by Dancing with the Saints under the creative direction of Sharon Boies. The mission of Dancing with the Saints is to foster healthy relationships between men and women through the art of dance. The Dancing with the Saints demonstration was most inspiring and the whole joyful gathering fostered the sense of community that young people seek.

One of the amazing qualities of dance is that it has a way of bringing people together regardless of background, race, religion, education and cultural affiliation. The dancer communicates not by speaking, but with one’s body. Through dance, one can overcome shyness, anxiety, fear, and insecurities. Indeed, when dancing together, partners must trust each other. Still, in that mutual trust, one can also feel vulnerable. In other words, the dancer realizes: “I have to allow my partner to guide me. I have to trust him and surrender to his direction.”

For today’s woman, it can be difficult to be vulnerable and to surrender to the man’s direction. Yet, when she defers to his lead, the woman encounters her femininity. For his part, the man encounters his masculinity when the dance demands that he open his arms and chest to his partner in a protective way. Sensing his desire to protect her, the woman is again reminded of her femininity. Communicating wordlessly through dance, women learn that much eye contact validates her partner’s masculinity. Dancing moves the man to encounter the woman’s body in a chaste, protective and manly way.

As a result, the dance partners are in harmony with each other’s bodies and the music. Leaning into each other, they create a bond that is the canvas on which the dance “artists” paint their masterpiece. As the couple dances in harmony, they can experience something with their bodies that is new, beautiful and exciting that no mere words can communicate. Indeed, they create and experience something that is “heavenly”.

Regarding the “heavenly” quality of dancing, through my own dance training, not only have I experienced many life lessons of my own, but also I have witnessed the transformation of others.CPI missionary, Alessandra shared this reflection: “Dance can bring an element of God’s heart and beauty to the world that we have never seen! Dance can be sacramental, making the invisible visible.” While a sacrament brings healing with God’s grace, dance heals by moving the partners to give and receive the other in a loving respectful way. In this way, the dance floor becomes a way to prepare men and women for the dance of life, whether that dance takes place in marriage, in a friendship, in a dating relationship or some other union.

How is your relationship? Perhaps, you might try dancing to enhance it!