Considering Abortion
Question
I gave birth to my daughter on February 28th. I breastfed her exclusively for the first 13 weeks of her life. When I went back to work, I attempted to pump my breasts, however, the results I yielded were insufficient to support her daily intake solely. So, I began to supplement with formula. My milk supply depleated until the well was altogether dry. I would say I stopped nursing about three to four weeks ago, and when I did, my daughter was only nursing once a day – at bedtime (for approximately two weeks). My daughter is now 4 1/2 months old and I have yet to have a period.
I had intercourse on July 4th, and my partner used a condom. I also had intercourse four days ago and the condom slipped off, unbeknownst to me, and he continued until he finished. I took Plan B two days ago. I have read that there is a chance of pregnancy even after having taken these pills. I adore my daughter, but am absolutely not ready for another child.
I have an uneasy feeling, an inkling, I guess, that I may be pregnant again. With my daughter, I knew I was pregnant, even when urine tests and blood tests indicated I was not. She was conceived the first time I had unprotected intercourse with her father. I have not had my period since May of last year (before I found out I was pregnant). I have always been regular… to the day, but then again, my daughter was my first pregnancy. I am experiencing dizziness and nausea, much like I did with my daughter before tests could indicate HCG levels.
I guess my first question would be, is there something wrong with me that I have yet to have my period? And then my second question would be, is there a possibility of pregnancy even though I haven’t had my period yet, and I took the emergency contraceptive? (I began taking progestin-only birth control the same day I took the EC).
I am not ready for another child, and my parter is not either. We are early on in our relationship and I don’t know that he would stick around… My daughter’s father didn’t. I’m sure I can handle anything that comes my way, but I have been deeply grieved, and don’t want to go through that pain again. (Truth be known, it’s still there.) If I were pregnant, I’m considering abortion. I was raised to believe this was wrong, and my heart cries out against it as well. But what else am I to do? Would I regret not knowing my child?
Cristie
Answer
Last Updated: November 18, 2021
First of all, your heart is telling you what is correct: abortion would be wrong. It is a mother’s instinct to protect her children both in and out of the womb; you should obey that instinct.
I would see this as an opportunity to reevaluate your life and your choices. The natural design for man and woman is for them to commit to a life-long marriage and have children together and only with each other. A sexual relationship is a very powerful thing. When it is outside of its natural context of marriage, it can do much harm and can lead to children born into unstable situations.
Please consider transforming your relationship with your boyfriend to one of chaste courtship, that is, stop having sex. When you marry him or someone else, that’s when you should share the power and the beauty of the sexual bond. Stop the birth control pill and appreciate and master your fertility and sexuality.
For now, go to a caring, pro-life doctor and get a blood pregnancy test. You may need to repeat it if initially it is negative. Then you will know if you are with child or not.
The lack of a period is not, in and of itself, a concern since you stopped breast feeding relatively recently and now are taking a hormone that can suppress periods in some women.
George Delgado, M.D., F.A.A.F.P. Culture of Life Family Health Care
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