Trusting in God’s Care

My wife, Rita, and I were married in 1985 and by the year 1990 we had three beautiful children, Natalie, Joseph and Nicole. We knew that although it would be expensive, our children would be educated through the Catholic school system. I was a deputy sheriff with the Sacramento County Sheriff’s Department and Rita worked in a dentist’s office so we knew finances would always be tight. Rita and I decided that three children would be enough. We also decided that if I had a vasectomy we would assure ourselves that our plan would come to be. As I think about it today it sure seems twisted that by committing a grievous sin we could assure ourselves that our children would be in an environment that would teach them the truth about the Catholic faith. But we knew Catholic couples that had this procedure done or used birth control and considered the churches stance on natural family planning to be an old out dated belief that had run its course. I had the procedure done in 1991.

In 1993 I decided to go to daily mass as a Lenten promise which was good because I kept going to daily mass when Lent was over and I still do to this day. In the mid 90’s I grew to love my faith and in loving it I learned more and more about it. I realized what a terrible sin I had committed and I went to confession about it. The priest gave me absolution and told me it was ok because it would also be sinful to have children I could not properly care for.

In 1999 I went on a Catholic pilgrimage to Medjugorje Yugoslavia accompanied by my nephew Jeremy who at the time was going through the seminary. While in Medjugorje I said confession to Father Philip who was visiting Medjugorje from New York City. He was broad shouldered with a bald head and a full beard. He had a gruff temperament and had no problem pointing out my deficiencies and gave me very straight forward direction in order that I may one day find Heaven. He gave me absolution and I decided to tell him about the vasectomy. I told him I had been to confession about it and I also told him what the priest had said to me about being able to give proper care to my children. Father Philip immediately slammed his fist down on the small table that separated us. He then yelled; “How in the world does that priest know what kind of care God is going to give your children?” Father Philip then quickly gave me the directive to fix the problem. I told him a vasectomy reversal was expensive and I did not think my wife would be open to this. Father Philip then told me that my wife had a mindset that could land her in hell if in fact she was not open to this. I quickly defended my wife and told him what a wonderful person my wife was and that she would in no way end up in hell. Father Philip suggested that we switch places in the confessional since I was obviously the expert. I shamefully declined on the suggestion. He then told me that the devil himself was present inside my house laughing at Rita and me because he was able to steer us down such a horrible sinful path. I quickly realized how opposed I was to the devil laughing at me in my own house.

Father Philip brought out a crucifix and held the base of it and requested that I hold it as well. He prayed very intensely that Rita be open to the idea of having more kids. Beads of sweat formed on his forehead. We simultaneously made the sign of the cross at the conclusion of our prayer. He then told me to go straight from the confessional to a phone and inform Rita that we were to make arrangements for a vasectomy reversal.

I left the confessional and told Jeremy about my conversation with Father Philip. Jeremy made the obvious suggestion that we find a phone immediately.  I got to a phone and as soon as Rita answered I told her I had been to confession and I needed to reverse my vasectomy. I expected a long period of silence but there wasn’t one. Rita simply said she agreed completely and that she would have the arrangements complete by the time I got home. We spoke for a few more minutes and as I hung up the phone I was overcome with relief and happiness. Jeremy raised his hands over his head as if we had just scored a touchdown. We raced back to the confessional and I stood in line eager to share the good news with Father Philip. As I stepped into the confessional Father Philip looked at me and said; “You just left. How could you have messed up already?” I laughed and told him of the wonderful news, that my wife was completely open to the vasectomy reversal. He simply said; “Of course she is. Why would God not answer our prayer?” Father Philip stood up and hugged me and spoke briefly of courage. I told him that someday I was going to have a son and I was going to name him Philip. Father Philip looked at me and tears welled up in his eyes. He then said; “Go now son, there’s a long line outside that door.”

I had the procedure done immediately upon returning to Sacramento. After completing the seminary, Father Jeremy is now a holy and faithful priest. On February 19th 2002 Rita gave birth to Philip Jeremy Helfrick. Then three years later she gave birth to Theresa. Our three oldest children were all educated through Catholic schools and all three graduated from Catholic universities. Philip and Theresa are currently enrolled in a Catholic elementary school. That is the kind of care God has given to my children. All praise be to God for the gift of his many holy and faithful priests.