Condom Broke… Twice
Question
On the 15th of October my gf had her period. At around the 26th of October, we had sex, condom broke. I came out but some semen got to the outside of her vagina. In fear of her being pregnant, I bought Norlevo emergency pills. She took the two pills as instructed, 1 after about three hours of the intercourse, another the next morning. On the 30th of October, my girl started bleeding (about one week and a half earlier than regular), and continued for three or four days. On the ECP site they said some irregular bleeding might occur which should not be considered as a period, so if that wasn’t a period, she should have got her period around the 9th of November. On Tuesday the 15th of Nov she took a pregnancy test which showed negative. On the 16th we had sex, and again, even though with a different brand of condom, and even though we’ve been using condoms for two years with no accidents, condom broke again 🙁 Until the present day my girl didn’t have her period yet. She felt very tired during sports a few days ago and had short breath. And every now and then she has abdomen pain, headache, and she often has a pink face which is not usual. I always think that those are signs of her period coming, but wake up every morning and still no period. What am I into? What should I do?
Please help cause we are really feeling depressed during this period of time.
Thanks a lot in advance.
PS. I forgot to say that 2nd time condom broke I came out but I don’t know if it was on time or anything made its way in. I wasn’t in a hurry to come out since I didn’t know the condom was broken.
Thanks again.
Answer
Last Updated: July 24, 2013
There are a number of important questions you have raised, and a number of significant issues which should be discussed.
1. Your girlfriend’s menstrual hormones have been “thrown off” by her use of the “emergency pills” following sex with a broken condom. It’s difficult to tell exactly what is happening with her cycle at this time. There are probably two main possibilities. First, she may have had an abortion induced by the “emergency pill”. This could occur if you and your girlfriend conceived a child the night that the condom broke. The “emergency pill” would tend to prevent your child from attaching to your girlfriend’s womb–this would result in his death. This would explain why she had the bleeding (though it is somewhat unusual that it occurred so early). The pregnancy test done two weeks after the abortion may well have been negative. The “emergency pill” often (no one knows how often) works in this way. Unfortunately, no one tells people like you and your girlfriend this. You may not have a problem with sex before marriage, but perhaps abortion is not something that you and your girlfriend would be in favor of… In any case, you should be given the information so that you are able make your own decision. Second, the “emergency pill” may have prevented a normal ovulation. Since progesterone comes with ovulation, if the pill had stopped ovulation, your girlfriend would not have produced progesterone, and would therefore be unable to have a normal period that cycle. If this is the case, she may well have an abnormal period (spotting at the beginning and end, with longer, possibly heavier bleeding in the middle…) in the next week or two. It may take her a cycle or two to get back on track… If she goes four to six weeks without a period (and is not pregnant), or if she has prolonged bleeding in the next week or so, she will need to see her doctor to discuss treatment.
2. The symptoms your girlfriend is experiencing may be due to her hormones being “thrown off”… or it may be something more serious. Hormonal contraceptive pills and “the morning after” pills can increase the risk of blood clots, which could cause shortness of breath, chest pains, palpitations, or headaches. With the symptoms your girlfriend is experiencing, a visit to her doctor would be recommended.
3. The possibility of pregnancy also still needs to be considered. If your girlfriend is pregnant, I would be concerned about an abnormal pregnancy (ectopic). Though the urine tests are pretty good, a pregnancy test should be repeated at your doctor’s office. An ectopic pregnancy is a life-threatening condition.
4. Your recent experience with condoms is not unusual. It is more unusual that you would go two years without more of a problem. Condoms often fail (one in ten times, or more) and many of those times you don’t even realize that they have failed. But each time it happens, you expose yourself to the risk of unintended pregnancy or sexually transmitted disease. Unless you are in a committed marriage relationship, there is no way to avoid these risks.
5. I would suggest you reconsider your relationship with your girlfriend. The emotional distress you and she are experiencing could be entirely avoided in the future by deciding to redefine your relationship. Is she the one you love? Do you want to spend your life with her alone? If so, marry her–you will find that your relationship with take on a new, exciting dimension that you did not previously think possible. If you’re not sure that she is “the one”, then “back up”, get to know her without the emotional clouding that premarital sex brings, and allow yourself to answer that important question. If she is not the one with whom you are meant to spend your life, then your relationship can only end in betrayal or sadness, or worse, an innocent child who will be raised without the great benefit of both a mother and father in his/her home.
Dr. Gisla
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