Holy Spouses Rosary and NFP

Several decades ago I participated in a peaceful “Life Chain.” I clearly remember encountering a small group of opposing, virulent faces chanting “Keep your rosaries off our ovaries.” As ridiculous and irreverent as the protest sounded then, throughout the years I have come to realize that there is a definite connection between prayer and reproduction, as sure as the God-given connection between love and life. Praying the Joyful Mysteries of the rosary relates the life of Unborn Jesus in Mary’s womb to the sacredness of child-bearing and child-rearing. Mary’s virginity also relates to abstinence when indicated, as when Fertility Appreciation Methods are used for a good reason to postpone pregnancy.

For the venerable tradition of the Marian Rosary to better relate these connections, however, St. Joseph needs to be included. Although Mary is “The Blessed Virgin,” and despite the fact that she is often portrayed alone with the Holy Child, or parallel to a statue of St. Joseph on the opposite side of the sanctuary, she is not a single or unwed mother. The first two chapters of both Matthew and Luke take pains to emphasize that she and Joseph are betrothed at the time of the Incarnation. In Jewish custom this was the first stage of marriage which had all the contractual effects of wedding vows. Only conjugal relations were postponed until the home was prepared and months later the final stage was celebrated as the groom took his bride into his home. The Gospels unqualifiedly call Joseph and Mary “husband” and “wife.” Quoting St. Augustine, St. John Paul II clearly taught that it is as important to uphold the reality of their marriage as it is to profess the virginal conception of Jesus.

The Incarnation of the Son of God to a betrothed couple redeemed marriage, which was wounded by the original sin of Adam and Eve. Whereas our first parents brought lust into sexuality and pain into childbearing (Genesis 3:7,16), Mary and Joseph model selfless love and the joy of whole-heartedly receiving the gift of Life into marriage. Their unique call to permanent virginity within marriage is not a negation of marital sexuality, but rather divine affirmation that sexual relations are related to child-bearing. At the center of human history, the singular event of conception by the Holy Spirit affords the only circumstance in which true marriage and total virginity coexist. St. John Paul taught that marriage and virginity are the only two forms of true love. The Holy Spouses are the universal models of both of these forms.

The vocation of Mary and Joseph evidences three truths about marriage:

Marriage is between a man and a woman. To take on human nature, the Son of God takes on the need for a human mother and for a human father. The union of the divine and human natures eliminates the need for Joseph to engender Jesus in the normal manner, but does not eliminate the reality of his true human fatherhood in every other sense.

Marriage is related to child-rearing. In God’s plan Joseph and Mary were chosen for each other for the purpose of receiving Jesus into their married love. From the time of the betrothal they were open to whatever God would have in store for them, although unaware of what that would be (as is every newlywed couple to some degree).

Sexual relations are related to the conception of children. Mary and Joseph have no carnal knowledge of each other during their time of betrothal prior to the Incarnation. The conception of Jesus in Mary’s womb by the Holy Spirit uniquely fulfills the marital purpose of child-bearing in a manner that indicates their call to perpetual virginity.

How does this unique virginal marriage relate to any other marriage? Simply put, the Holy Spouses can teach every couple to be open to God’s plan for receiving children and to be selfless in their love for each other. In our times contraception has led to direct contradiction of the three truths listed above. An understanding and acceptance of these truths provides the most solid motivation for rejecting contraception in favor of cooperating with nature. Husbands and wives need Joseph’s and Mary’s example to teach and inspire them to have faithful trust in God’s providence and to have sacrificial and unconditional love for each other. They need the help of the Holy Spouses to remain open to the gift of life and to practice sexual abstinence when indicated in conscience. They need strength from the prayerful assistance of the two most powerful intercessors of all, the Mother and the Patron of the Church.

While not by any means meant only for married couples, the relatively recent devotion of The Holy Spouses Rosary is particularly suited for helping couples fulfill these needs. In this devotion the five Joyful Mysteries of the Marian Rosary are expanded into ten “Mysteries of the Incarnation and Hidden Life.” (see sidebar). By reflecting on these truths through the shared experience of Jesus’ earthly parents, we have the best lens for focusing on the first thirty years of his life on earth. Such reflection provides ample spiritual food for couples to better understand and to deepen their own experience of vocation, love for each other, child-bearing, naming children, celebrating religious rites, facing threats, respecting each child’s vocation, and sanctifying everyday family life.

The prayer repeated on the ten beads of each mystery adapts the “Hail, Mary” to include St. Joseph. It venerates Mary and Joseph with biblical and Church titles, centers on praising the name of Jesus, and seeks the intercession of the Holy Spouses also for families:

Mary, full of grace, and Joseph, son of David;

honor to you, Mother of God, and to you,

guardian of the Redeemer.

Eternal praise to the child with whom you formed a family, Jesus.

Holy Spouses, pray for us sinners, our families and communities, now and at the hour of our death. Amen

We have published an approved book entitled The Holy Spouses Rosary, which contains a full description of the devotion and a guide for praying it. Each mystery is illustrated with a beautiful color image, an explanation of the biblical background, suggested personal applications, and an invitation to contemplation. Among the concluding prayers there is the Holy Spouses Litany.

Praying the Holy Spouses Rosary regularly has the power to change individual lives, marriages, and families.

The Ten Mysteries of the Incarnation and Hidden Life

The Betrothal

The Annunciation to Mary

The Annunciation to Joseph

Joseph Takes Mary his Wife into his Home

The Birth of Jesus

The Circumcision and Naming of Jesus

The Presentation of Jesus

The Flight to and Return from Egypt

The Finding of Jesus in the Temple

The Hidden Life of Nazareth