When the Doctor Says “Down Syndrome”

As a result of prenatal testing, it may be that the doctor shares with parents a possible diagnosis of Down syndrome or other congenital anomalies. Sadly, what often follows is a suggestion to terminate the pregnancy or genetic counseling. Terminating a pregnancy means abortion. Genetic counseling could be positive in that it informs the parents about the condition(s) their son or daughter might have as the means to prepare them for the birth and life of their child. Genetic counseling goes wrong when abortion is pushed or suggested.

For those facing the birth of a child with possible congenital anomalies, I want to encourage you to give the child and situation to God who has given life in the first place. God is love and loves you and this child totally and infinitely. God has deemed this child to be particularly unique, unrepeatable and necessary. Life is a gift and life is precious! I want to encourage you insofar as possible to surrender your lives to the Lord and receive from the Lord the grace and strength to be the best of loving parents to your son or daughter.

In my family’s case, after the birth of baby number five, my mom had an emergency hysterectomy. From day one, my parents practiced natural family planning and were open to the number of children that God would give them. (My mom wanted ten!) My parents met at a special needs facility, where they both volunteered. They discerned a call to receive and adopt a special needs baby, in thanksgiving to God and openness to life. Our parents asked us kids for our thoughts on their plan. Myself, being the oldest, and my siblings agreed that we were on board. In 1994, our family received a call saying that there was a three-month-old baby boy with Down syndrome who was looking to be placed. We received him without hesitation and with great joy and love. The birth parents had not done any prenatal testing and found out about their son when he was born. They gave him up that day. Although I cannot be sure, I do wonder if the parents had done prenatal testing if he would have been aborted. We thank God he wasn’t.

Nicholas is # 6. All of us love Nick probably even more than if he was a blood relative. This experience has helped us understand the love and tenderness of God when the Scriptures teach us that we have become adopted sons and daughters of God (Gal 4: 4-7; Rom 8: 14-17). Having a Down syndrome child in the family is an amazing adventure. In general, folks with Down syndrome are particularly loving, exuberant and joyful. They might even be a little moody and temperamental. Nick is no exception. He is all that and more. When he was six months old, he had heart surgery to address a hole that he had in his heart. Thirty years later, Nick is going strong. He has a blessed life. He works at a special needs center where he learns new skills and takes life classes. Nick enjoys going to concerts, ball games, and musical theater. He dances hip hop, tap, and swing. Additionally, Nick is a long-time altar server for the Saturday evening vigil Mass at our home parish. Adopting Nicholas took our family love to another level, and the love continues to grow.

If you or someone you know has received a “scary” or troubling diagnosis, I would encourage you certainly to pray and commend the little one to God’s care. I would also suggest that you try to meet with parents of children who have the same diagnosis. This will help remove stigmas, calm any fears or anxieties you might have, and give you the opportunity to ask questions. My parents, my siblings and I have become ambassadors to share the good news that the condition of Down syndrome can be and is a blessing.