I Was Excommunicated by Pope Francis! A true story

Dr. Janet Smith has graciously agreed to allow us to share here, with her CANFP friends, her entertaining tale of her recent, most unusual, encounter with Pope Francis:

In Rome this past month for a meeting of ARCIC (Anglican Roman Catholic International Commission), my group went on a Scavi tour (the tour of the archeological digs under St Peter’s). Having done it before, I chose instead to meet up with a friend. My friend has a pass to move easily throughout the Vatican, and got me into St Peter’s through a back door and then out through a magnificent staircase that leads to the papal palace.

I was to meet back up with the group at 10:45am, for a private audience with the Holy Father at 11:15am. Reuniting with my group proved to be impossible, however, because of the crowds trying to get through the gate I needed to use. So I decided my best bet was to get to that magnificent stairway which I thought was probably the pathway to the audience.

I began working my way through hordes of human beings, and approached a guard. I tried to efficiently communicate why he should let me in, explaining I was with the ARCIC group and had an audience scheduled with the Holy Father (it was now 11am). He said, “There are supposed to be 19 people in the ARCIC group, where are the rest?” (Amazing he should know about our little group!) I said I wanted to know the same thing; I had gotten separated from them. He kept asking where they were; I kept saying I wish I knew.

He told me to proceed through security. I did, and told my story to the lady at the bottom of the steps. She went and looked at some papers and told me to walk up the stairs to the Bronze Doors. I did until at the last two steps a Swiss Guard stomped his lance and shouted. I stood still and a different guard approached me. I told him about ARCIC…He asked for my passport, looked at some papers, made phone calls and said I was too late—the meeting was already in progress. I asked if he could please help me reunite with my group when they were done. I stood there, thinking that I couldn’t imagine God brought me through so many obstacles without getting me all the way.

Then the guard told me to run up the stairs (it seemed like three huge stories) and I should be able to catch the bus with my group. There were a series of guards and officials who kept waving me on – run across the courtyard, get in the elevator, walk very quickly about a half mile through fancy room after fancy room.

As I approached the final room I saw the Holy Father with three assistants just about to leave the room. I was hesitant to go in so my escort (in purple tails, I believe) practically pushed me. Pope Francis gave me a huge smile, looked right into my eyes, and took my hands. One of the men standing next to him said to me: “You could be excommunicated.” (In reference to my lateness, I suppose/hope!). Then the Holy Father said “You ARE excommunicated.” I was stunned, threw my hands up and said, laughingly I think, “Oh no, nothing could be worse than that.” And he smilingly said, “But you are.” I looked imploringly at him and said, “That would be horrible.” So he laughed and said, “No, no you are not.”

I looked at the HF and said I had a gift for him which I needed to dig out of my bag (bags are not permitted into an audience with a pope, but I had an unusual entrance!). I started handing objects to the assistants as I worked to find a copy of Contraception: Why Not and Theology of the Old Body. The HF looked quizzically at the Theology of the Old Body. An assistant and I said something like, “Teologia del corpore antiche” (my version was a butchered combination of Latin and Italian). I pointed at the HF and myself and told him it was about his body and mine — that we both had old bodies. The HF laughed and pointed to himself saying “mine, not yours.” And then he turned to say good bye to the others and left.

If I were to list the million most likely things I thought the Holy Father might say to me, I don’t think, “You are excommunicated” would get on the list. I just really hope his words “No, no, you are not” are sufficient to satisfy all canonical requirements for lifting an excommunication.