The Incredible Value of Women as Daughters of God

Increasingly, the chasm between the Catholic understanding of womanhood and the image of womanhood promoted through radical feminism, is so great as to feel insurmountable.

For all my harsh criticism of some strands of contemporary feminism, with its idols of abortion and contraception, and its nihilistic vision of womanhood, I would be the first woman to say that we should not forget the world in which feminism emerged, nor should we willfully ignore the considerable progress there has been in some areas when it comes to granting equality between the sexes. We have to acknowledge those positive changes. As a woman, I enjoy rights, every single day of my life, that were denied previous generations.

But are women valued? Does the way the medical profession interacts with women in any way reflect the value of women as God’s daughters? The Aristotelian tendency to view women as faulty men casts a long shadow over women’s healthcare. For all the talk of autonomy and empowerment, there remains an ingrained sense that the female body is problematic in itself, even – and in particular – in its healthiest state. I have heard the contraceptive pill referred to as ‘the cure for being female’ partly because of the tendency by some doctors to prescribe the Pill for everything from the desire to avoid a pregnancy to period pain. The many side effects suffered by women as a result of swallowing a grade one carcinogen are accepted as a necessary sacrifice on the part of women in exchange for being liberated from motherhood.

This cavalier attitude to women was thrown into relief by the male contraceptive trials some years ago. Was I the only woman who giggled over my cornflakes, hearing that the trials had had to be cancelled, because men were suffering such terrible side effects – migraines, depression, weight gain, acne – in short, the very symptoms women have been expected to put up with for years. The vastly different approach to male health vs female health that this decision appeared to imply, did not go entirely without comment in the media.
I should also clarify that I believe it was perfectly correct to halt those male contraceptive trials. I do not think that men are wimps, I just do not believe that women should be expected to be martyrs to the pharmaceutical industry

 

Without wishing to ignore the very real advances for women, I would argue that the ability of a woman to give fully informed consent is still seriously limited within some areas of medicine and most egregiously, this failure to treat women with dignity and respect is hidden away behind lofty promises of respecting female choice. 

 

So much time and energy is expended selling abortion and contraception that other areas of medicine can be easily overlooked. We all know that there is a great deal more to women’s health than not getting pregnant but the use of abortion as a kind of safety valve does not just have an impact on attitudes towards sexuality, it can also have an impact upon the level of care women in problem pregnancies are permitted. 

 

A study by Pregnancy Sickness Support in the UK of women who underwent abortion whilst suffering from Hyperemesis Gravidarum, found that 85% of the women surveyed said that the healthcare professionals they turned to simply did not understand how ill they were, leading to around 40% being offered no help whatsoever and others complaining that they were treated like silly children making a fuss about nothing or actively faking symptoms for attention. The overwhelming majority of women surveyed desperately wanted their babies and would not have had abortions if they had been properly supported. 

 

As this study was conducted in partnership with an abortion chain, the emphasis was very much on reducing the stigma associated with abortion rather than the more obvious need to avoid women being pushed into abortions they do not want. 

 

Some years ago, I heard a NaProTechnology practitioner from Dublin make the point that he could not get any support for natural fertility awareness because there was very little money to be made, unlike the lucrative field of ART, but if the dignity and wellbeing of women really mattered, resources would be invested in assisting women in ways that work best for them rather than that generate the highest profits.   

 

One of the most attractive aspects of NaProTechnology from the perspective of pro-life feminism, is the way in which it respects the whole woman: NaProTechnology respects the woman physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually, rather than viewing a woman as merely a malfunctioning body. It is heartening to hear doctors in this field speak of the need to pray for and with the couples who come to them, to know the moment when a couple need a break from treatment to focus on their marriage, to place a couple’s welfare front and centre of any treatment plan. If we consider the terrible strain fertility treatment can put on a marriage, there is surely no better way to care for women than to acknowledge the value of marriage and the uniqueness of the female experience. 

 

Part of the journey doctors take with couples who are struggling to conceive, is the sad realisation sometimes that a couple will never conceive a much-desired child. One of the most memorable presentations I have ever witnessed was at an NFP conference in the north of England, during which couples who had successfully conceived came along with their children to talk about their experiences. At the end of that session, a beautiful young woman stood up, supported by her doctor, and talked about how she had not succeeded in having a baby, but NaProTechnology had worked for her, because it had helped her to come to terms with life without children and to move on. No woman should leave a medical facility broken, humiliated and with a lingering sense of having been violated by procedures intended to help her. The fact that that woman chose to stand with her head held high, supported and respected by the doctor who had guided her through that painful journey, was testament to the importance of truly pro-woman medical care in that most sensitive of fields. 

 

It may be unhelpful to bring the Blessed Virgin into a discussion in a consulting room, but Catholic doctors should instinctively understand the value of women as God’s daughters. When we acknowledge that the mystery of the Incarnation began in the fallopian tube of a woman, the sacred nature of female fertility can never be taken lightly. In my novel We’ll Never Tell Them, I referred to an old saying I heard as a child, that a man should see his wife as Our Lady in his home, and he should treat his wife with the same level of respect and reverence. Perhaps, by the same token, healthcare professionals should get into the habit of seeing their female patients as Our Lady in their consulting room or their hospital ward. If you were treating the Blessed Mother, how careful would you be, how respectful of her dignity! This is not as outrageous a proposition as it may at first appear, since Mother Teresa spoke of seeing the suffering Christ in the face of every poor person she encountered. 

 

Inevitably – if unfortunately – a woman’s understanding of her dignity and her place in the history of salvation will be heavily influenced by those she encounters. And in a society where we are losing any sense that there even is such a thing as womanhood, it is imperative that as Catholics, we do not let women down. Because a key part of our understanding of the complementarity of the sexes is that we appreciate the extent to which the dignity of women is enriched by men as well as by other women.    

 

Girls learn to be women, and they learn to understand that they are God’s, children, first and foremost in the home, through the example of the mother but also through the behaviour of the father. The fatherless society harms the formation of girls as well as boys, because girls come to understand their own dignity by the way their fathers treat their mothers, they develop expectations about the way they should be treated by men by viewing the relationship between their parents.

 

When a woman goes to see her doctor, she is by definition vulnerable – sick, injured or concerned that something is wrong – and how she is treated will have a profound impact on her. What sets Catholic medical professionals apart is surely that sense of vocation, that sense of serving God in the sick and vulnerable, because in the end, our faith is both a physical and a spiritual reality. It is through the physical experience of being female that we as women can understand more fully what it means to be daughters of an incarnational God.  

 

I discussed this topic at length with Californian NFP promoter and sister-in-arms Sheila St John and I was particularly struck by her reflection on the connection between the physical and the spiritual within female identity. She writes: “There is a symphony of events that are all orchestrated to create, each month, the best circumstances for a woman to welcome and nurture a new life. This process is part of me, and who I am as a woman. When I more intimately understand the way God created me, I become more aware that I am a daughter of God, for only a loving God could have imprinted in my body such an intricate process to receive, nurture, and grow love. AND, made it visible to me so I can actively participate in His design. It would seem, HE is inviting us, His daughters, to marvel with Him at this amazing process that is so the core of our womanhood—to be part of it, to participate in it, consciously.”

 

If society granted young women an understanding of that amazing symphony being played out in their bodies and taught them that their lives matter down to the tiniest details of their existence, would they perhaps grow up to understand their dignity? Would they appreciate their role of beloved daughters of God? 

 

If the answer is a resounding yes, then we all have a role in bringing women to that understanding, the doctors and nurses who treat women, the educators who mentor girls and above all the parents who, as primary educators of their children, have the first and greatest responsibility in leading their daughters into the presence of God.