Why God? Why Me?

Why God, why me? I pray. I believe. So why do I still feel broken, forgotten… and so painfully alone?

If you have ever faced infertility—or are walking through it right now—you know how these questions echo in your mind. They rise during prayer, slip in while you’re going about your daily life, greet you when you wake, and haunt you as you try to fall asleep.

Infertility brings a unique kind of suffering. It touches not only the body but also the mind, the spirit, and even a woman’s sense of identity and purpose. And yet, in most cases, only the physical side is addressed, leaving many women without guidance in their deep need for emotional and spiritual support.

But because infertility strikes at the very core of a woman’s identity, healing must also take place on a mental and spiritual level.

From a mental point of view, in moments of struggle, our brain tends to fall back on old protective patterns, trying to shield us from pain. Unfortunately, this often results in negative thoughts:

“I’ll never be able to get pregnant.”

“It’s not worth trying anymore.”

“I don’t deserve happiness.”

“God doesn’t think I am worthy of children.”

While these thoughts can feel overwhelming, there is hope, because the beauty of the human brain is that it is capable of change. Neuroscience shows that when we intentionally strengthen new neural pathways, we can begin to think differently—responding to the same circumstances with greater hope, positivity, and resilience.

Here are a couple practical ways to start rewiring your thoughts:

• Gratitude journaling: Each evening, write down three things you are thankful for. This simple habit trains your brain to focus on the blessings in your life.

• Rescripting negative thoughts: Instead of letting hopeless thoughts dominate, gently reshape them. For example, instead of: “My life has no purpose”, you might say: “I have not yet discovered the fullness of my purpose, but I trust God will guide me to it.” This shift allows space for hope without forcing “toxic positivity.”

Equally important is tending to the spiritual dimension of infertility. Many women long to live close to God, yet find themselves projecting their pain onto Him: “God doesn’t care… He doesn’t keep His promises… He doesn’t hear my prayers.” In times of darkness, His voice can feel silent, and that silence is crushing. But guidance and support can help us rediscover Him as He truly is—not distant, but nearby. Through Scripture and imaginative prayer, we are reminded that Christ, through the cross, is always calling us closer to Him, longing to heal our hearts before anything else.

Another crucial aspect is rediscovering purpose. The inability to conceive strikes at a woman’s most natural instinct, which is becoming a mother. Everything in her body speaks about welcoming a new life, and when that doesn’t happen, a woman easily questions her own purpose in life, struggles to accept her present life, and pins all her hope on a future pregnancy.

Yet healing begins when we honor this deep desire while embracing our unique gifts and talents here and now. By pouring ourselves into the present, exploring expressions of spiritual motherhood, we not only discover new meaning but also reduce stress, support hormonal balance, and even improve the chances of conception.

Infertility is an undeniably painful path. But by tending to mind, spirit, and body together, it is possible to find peace, deepen faith, and rediscover a life filled with purpose—right here, right now.

Stefania offers an online session, rooted in deep compassion born from her own painful journey through infertility: Healing Her Heart Flyer2