The Parish and NFP: Essential to Each Other

The title may seem strange, but there are two simple, practical facts that justify it. The first is that if Natural Family Planning is not part of the religious education, youth ministry, marriage preparation, and family support programs of a parish, the parish in today’s world becomes complicit in contracepting the spiritual life of its parishioners, the vocational decisions of its youth, the unity and perseverance of its couples, and its own vibrancy and sustenance. The second fact is that if NFP is not promoted by and offered in or at least very near to each parish, it cannot begin to have wide acceptance or reach more than a tiny percentage even of Catholics, let alone the general population. These are two sweeping statements of which I am totally convinced. Although I may not be able to completely support them within the limits of this article, I will share some of my priestly experience from which they have developed over the years. I also hope that your own consideration of these assertions will bear fruit in your own thinking.

When I was ordained a priest over 40 years ago, just eight years after Humanae Vitae and the consequent widespread dissent, I began to promote God’s plan for life and love in my preaching, catechesis, and confessional counselling. The moral truth was clear to me, but its application was already quite difficult for couples, primarily because NFP classes were few and far between. Even for those who had the opportunity and took the step of meeting a teaching couple for classes, there often was not enough support for them to overcome the contraceptive mentality they had absorbed, their doubts regarding effectiveness, and the practical challenges of abstinence. The few pioneer teaching couples who volunteered for this ministry would most often become discouraged themselves and not persevere for long.

During the first 21 years of my priesthood in various assignments, mostly non-parochial, I continued to work to encourage couples to learn NFP, and to consider getting certified to become teachers, with some success. I prepared a weekend workshop, La Familia Natural Vive Mejor, now called Life-Giving Love in English, and found couples to present it with me. This workshop provides the foundational understanding of marriage’s two-fold inseparable purpose, the spiritual motivation, the practical know-how, and couples’ shared testimonies to help those attending to choose a natural lifestyle and be able to make right conscience decisions together regarding their conjugal relations and childbearing. In comparison to the other efforts of priestly ministry mentioned above, this workshop proved to be the most effective by far, but only when supported by a local community. Giving the workshop in different places without having NFP classes nearby and without follow-up support would see enthusiasm and practice quickly fade, as often happens after one-time retreats. Eventually it became very difficult to find couples to attend the workshops.

All these efforts at promoting our Church’s teaching showed individual fruits, but the scale was disappointingly minimal.

A big change occurred 22 years ago when I became pastor of a large bilingual parish. I found that a pastor can do so much more than a priest working in any other position, even those involving diocesan family life offices, ministry with movements supporting married couples, or even the various specialized agencies offering their methods of NFP. In order to encourage other parishes I share what has worked during all these years as pastor in two different parishes. Whereas it is difficult to convince couples to come to a weekend workshop and to take an NFP course in addition to the six marriage preparation classes, as pastor I could require every couple wanting to marry in the Catholic Church to do both. This includes couples who have been together for years and are finally convalidating their union. Even non-fertile couples for whom NFP is no longer an issue must at least attend the workshop. Some couples might be unwilling to fulfill “so many requirements” and might seek another parish in which to marry, but it seems to me, anecdotally at least, that the success rate of their marriages is lower. Conversely, some couples from other parishes hear about the preparation and actually seek it out.

INTERESTED IN OFFERING LIFE GIVING LOVE WEEKENDS IN YOUR PARISH?
Priests interested in establishing a Life Giving Love Weekend / Team in their own parish, can contact Fr. Larry Toschi, OSJ at the Parish office, for more information. Fr. Toschi will support the priest in establishing their own program and team, upon completion of a Bakersfield weekend by both the priest and at least one lead couple.

What does a pastor need in order provide for such a requirement? First NFP practicing couples need to be identified in the parish, especially those who have a testimony to share regarding the positive changes in their lives following their conversion from a contraceptive lifestyle. A workshop must be provided for them and from this workshop couples must be chosen to prepare to present it themselves in the parish. NFP Teachers must be trained from among the parishioners. As parish budgets include money for other ministries, even a parish with very limited financial resources makes one of its most fruitful investments in paying for NFP teacher certification for those who commit themselves to serving the parish in this ministry. Sufficient teachers are needed to have available enough NFP courses per year to serve the number of couples preparing for marriage within the window of six months from the time of their initial interview.

In addition to this practical structure, spiritual and community support is also most important. A devotion such as the Holy Spouses Rosary and a spiritual commitment to the Holy Spouses Society provide sustenance to these ministries.

When these options are available then the other pastoral ministries of preaching, catechesis, and confessional counselling are practically effective. The parish is a community of life and love. NFP is available, known, and supported.

Life Giving Love weekends 
English y español
Parish office: (661) 323-3148
www.guadalupebakersfield.org
www.holyspouses.org
Who am I in God’s plan?   /  Quien soy yo en el plan de Dios?
What is marriage?   /  Que es el matrimonio? 
Why are children the crown of marriage?   /  Por que los hijos son la corona del matrimonio?
Why does the church teach that artificial contraceptives are against the natural law?   /  Por que la Iglesia enseña que los anti-conceptivos son cotnra la ley natural?
When it is licit to postpone another pregnancy?   /  Cuando es licito postergar otro embarazo? 
What are the natural, moral, and scientific means for spacing pregnancies   /  Cuales son los medios naturales, morales y cientificos para espaciar los embarazos?